Learning to See: Giving from solidarity, not charity

In the first installment of this series, I talked about my surprise that I became less generous as I made more money. In the second, we looked at the research around giving trends. In this final installment, we’ll explore how we can respond.

Emily Millikan

Do I give because it feels good, or because it’s the right thing to do?

Do I give because I want people to see me as generous, or because I see people in need?

Do I give because I believe I’m smarter, more skilled, worthier than others, or because every human being made in God’s image is equally worthy to have what I have?

Do I believe I deserve my good life because I worked hard or invested wisely, and that anything I give out of my earnings ought to be met with gratitude from people who must have made terrible decisions to end up with so little? Or do I remember that the gifts I’ve been given were not available to everyone?

In short, do I give out of charity, or out of solidarity?

These are tricky questions. We’re human and flawed, so our ability to empathize is limited, and it takes work to see people as they really are. Here are a few ways to practice seeing yourself and others more clearly.

• Meditate on the advantages you were given growing up. Most of us could name a few. These might include: a safe home, a safe neighborhood, at least one loving parent, a school with enough money for textbooks, the availability of transportation (consider whether your parents helped you buy a car!), enough food, new clothes every year, or the expectation that you’d go to college. Consider whether you grew up physically healthy or mentally healthy, and whether your parents were physically or mentally healthy. If you lacked any of these, ask yourself, how did that lack affect you? Now imagine you lacked all or most of the things on this list.
• Now think about the area where you live. Are people within a few miles of you living in poverty, or on much lower socio-economic rungs? Do you think about them, or try to avoid them? Do you think of those people or places as dangerous, or do they just make you feel guilty? Consider how you can form equitable (not condescending) relationships with people in your community who have materially less than you. Pay attention to your local newspaper and nonprofit organizations; then see what you can do to enlarge what you mean by “community.”
• One last exercise. We’re biased, of course! We hope you’ll really be able to “see” our young people in Zhytomyr. Take a look at our photos on Facebook or stories on our blog. When you see those images or read those stories, imagine they’re your children, your nieces and nephews, sisters and brothers, friends or friends’ children. What do they deserve? Is it “just barely enough”? See if you can discover some assumptions you might have been working with subconsciously. Does your family “deserve” nice vacations, trips to museums and theme parks, expensive meals out, access to the best schools and colleges – while people in desperate situations only “deserve” warm clothes and enough to eat? Pray and talk with your family about how you can make our young people more real and present to you.

Ultimately, giving is about seeing – and about seeing expansively, our eyes wide-open to the likeness of God in each human being. May He help ALL of us to see others “as more valuable than ourselves.”

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed and heirs according to the promise” (Galatians).

“All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they shared with anyone who was in need” (Acts).

Giving can be an awkward topic to read about and discuss – but it shouldn’t be! Everything we have belongs to God. Thank you for reading, considering, and having compassion for our young people in Zhytomyr, Ukraine.

Learning to See: Am I a generous giver? (Part I)

Learning to See: Who are the most generous givers? (Part II)